ANG GAMOT SA NAGDURUGONG PUSO

by: AndyCapp` of Ragnaboards
I really don’t know how I came up with this… eh una sa lahat wala
naman ako prob sa lovelife….
pero wala lang… kahit sabihin kong masaya ako…
parang di pa rin ako mapalagay na nakikita at naririnig na sa mundong ito,
may mga nasasaktan pa rin… at ang masakit pa nun… ang iba dun ang mga
kaibigan ko.
I’ve been hurt so many times na in my life na, minsan pa nga.. mismong
kakain ako ng big mac eh te-text ako ng gf ko na pagalit.. ayun…sira na
nanaman ang araw ko..
Yung mga iba ko namang kaibigan, mas matindi pa ang storya….
pinagpalit daw sila sa iba… kunwari sila ang liligawan, pero yung naglakad
pa sa kanila ang siyang nakatuluyan ng lalaki….hanubayun ! Whatta sawi
moment na maituturing. …
pero I made her realize na love is unfair talaga..lalo na pag ikaw ang
nadehado
Parang naging survival of the fittest na nga ang nangyayari ngayon sa pag
ibig eh…
Yung tipong pag maganda ka, gwapo ang makakatuluyan mo, at kapag pangit ka,
laking tsamba lang pag may hitsura pa ang napili mo.
Eh ako naman di ganun kagwapuhan, di rin cute, minsanlang masabihan na may
hitsura, eh di rin pinaligtas ng pag ibig..
haay…puro peklat na talaga tong puso ko…. dahil na rin siguro sa mga
sugat noon.
Ilang taon din akong nagtiis na walang minahal….. or should I say walang
nagmamahal sakin?
That was the worst period of my life. Yung tipong mahal ko lang ang sarili
ko dahil no choice eh..
La naman nagmamahal sakin, wala nga nagkakagusto sakin.. San pa ako?
BUT as they always say….IN every cloud, there’s a silver lining.
Oo tama, dahil sa mga panahong hirap ako sa labylayp..
natutunan ko na rin ang mag survive sa hirap at sakit nadulot ng pag ibig.
Nandyan yung aliwin ang sarili sa barkada, pagbabad sa bilyaran o sa
computer,
pag aliw sa sarili ng ilang oras sa chat… o kaya’y ubusin ng husto ang
laman ng ref mo,
at sa mga babae naman, eh mag pa parlor, punta sa bahay ng bespren… lahat
na para lang makalimutan ang mapait na nakaraan.
So ano nga ba talaga ang mga gamot sa nagdurugong puso?
“IT IS NOT WHAT YOU DO THAT MAKES THE DIFFERENCE, BUT HOW YOU THINK.”
Kahit libutin mo na ang buong luzon para kalimutan siya,
kung hindi pa rin magbabago ang mindset mo about love.. sorry dude. WA
EPEK…
as inwala.. blanko… void…. null… empty set… zero
percent…kapos. ..mintis. .. airball…. eh bakit?
Material pleasure can’t compensate for the pain your heart receives…. .
and pag ang heart eh nasaktan.. apektado na rin malamang ang utak..
coz they are in mutual status… masaktan ang isa…. masasaktan na rin ang
kabila.
Try changing your mindset….. kung baga sa computer eh kung panay palpak
ang ginagawa ng hardware mo,
at nagtataka ka kung bakit nakailang palit kana eh sa karton pa rin ang
ending nya,
eh baka sa software na mismo ang problema, di ba?
Kung basted ka ng babaeng mahal mo….. drinking everynight and bar hopping
won’t do you good, tska gastos lang yan.
Lying in ur bed the whole night and rolling there like a lumpia won’t help
yah ease the pain.
Dapat alam mo na ang gagawin…. PRAY.
Kahit gano ka pa ka demonyo eh sa pagdarasal pa rin ang tuloy mo dude.
Totoo yun. Find a time alone na one day, kausapin mo Siya na parang
kabarkada mo lang cya..
talk to Him as if kausap mo ang pinaka close na tao sa buhay mo…
He can touch the hardest hearts! and the vainest minds.
He did that to me and im sure magagawa din nya sa inyo yun.
Sa mga iniwanan ng kanilang bf/gf eh wag na wag kayo manonood ng mga movies
na may IWANAN na tema..
its like jumping into a quicksand… lalo nyo lang nilubog ang sarili nyo..
sa mga nagsesenti naman… o sige oks lang yan… kasi ako rin ganun e..
di ba nga ang music is the choir of your heart?
kahit ga-BALDE na ang luha mo kaiiyak sa tune ng One last Cry ni Brian
mcKnight eh
oks lang un… kahit in reality hindi. Try straightening your goals, point
of views, or beliefs.
Ano ba talaga ang gusto mo mangyari sa buhay mo? Sa lablayp mo?
Siya ba talaga ang mahal mo?
Kung siya talaga at di ka nya mahal, is it necessary ba talaga na dapat
maging kayo para sumaya ka?
Unconditional ba talaga ang love mo for him? Eh bakit naghahanap ka ng
kapalit na pagmamahal?
Bakit ka nasasaktan pag nalaman mong di ka pala mahal?
Ano ba talaga ang definition mo ng loving someone?
Bukal ba sa loob mo na masaya ka for her/him kahit hindi ikaw ang reason ng
kanyang happiness?
May umiibig bang hindi nabibigo? Pwede ka bang magmahal na hindi nasasaktan?
Anong gusto mo, magmahal na masaktan, o hindi mahalin?
You see, asking yourself these questions might straighten those curly love
lashes of yours.
Don’t think of your inferiority, yung tipong kesyo pangit ka, may pimples
ka, kulang ka sa height, kulang sa pera….
Kasi if the girl or guy dumped you dahil lang sa kakulangan mo sa pisikal na
bagay, eh
hindi talaga siya deserving na mahalin.. pramis. Ibang tao lang talaga ang
bagay para sa kanila.
Ikaw ba yung tipong tao na nakikita ang love in a black and white scale?
Well…its now the right moment to realize na ang love have gray spots in
it..
na hindi lahat ng tama ay tama at di lahat ng mali ay mali.
Being not open to these gray spots would spell disaster sa inyong “Getting
over” na stage…
ano ba talaga tong gray spots na to?
Yung tipong people who tend to fallout of love…
hindi sa nagsasawa pero bigla na lang nila nalalaman na hindi na pala nila
mahal yung gf/bf nila..
there’s nothing really wrong about it (sa isang side).. kasi ganun talaga…
di naman din nya sinadya na mahalin ka eh.. eh malamang di rin nya sadya ang
mawala ang love nya…
tamang isipin natin na love is a feeling… but it is not a decision…
the decision part comes only when it concerns MAINTAINING the love…
so as long as there’s a feeling of love.. may decision kang i-maintain
yun….
but yun nga.. WHAT’S THE POINT OF MAINTAINING SOMETHING NA WALA NA TALAGA?
Eh kung wala nang love… eh wala na talaga.
Kung tumagal man kayo, baka awa na lang ang nararamdaman niya to you.
That’s why it is important na ma clarify mo ang sarili mo sa mga ganitong
gray spots….
Wala kang gelplen or boyplen….. .. SO WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?
sa unang tingin nakakainggit. .kasi nga may ka holding hands sila.. may
natatawagan para mag goodnight at i love you at kung anong klaseng
panlalambing. … pero kung tutuusin… may kanya kanyang advantage at
disadvantage ang pagiging single.
Disadvantages nga ung nabanggit earlier in this paragraph.
Ang advantage? You can takecare of yourself, or pag nagaaral ka pa eh you
can concentrate
on ur thesis…Magagawa mo rin ang di mo magagawa pag meron kayong ka
relasyon, tamaba ako?
So dont tell me na hindi ka masaya dahil lang sa wala kang gf/bf….
ang dami pang single dyan, and karamihan sa kanila eh masaya din sa buhay
nila.. believe me.
Pero we should also take into consideration na masarap din ang feeeling ng
na aalagaan.. at minmahal di ba?
Well… that’s where appreciating what your friends do to you comes into
play.
Friends or peers will always be there..
Yung mga ka barkada mong iniwan mo sa ere para lang dumamubs sa yong girl eh
babalik at babalikan mo rin bandang huli….
although hindi talaga healthy na sabihing ” Haaay sakit lang sa ulo yang mga
lalaki” or
“Gastos langang alam ng mga babaeng yan”…. we should be fair…. ganun
talaga…
some will win..some will lose. There’s no point getting lost in your life…
nakagawa man sila ng mali… sila na ang bahala dun..
they only gave you the opportunity to react… but not the specfic reaction.
Kung nasaktan man tayo, hindi na nila problema yun, problema na natin yun.
Pag ikaw ba eh nagmukmok sa isang sulok dahil sa ginawa nya eh iiyak ba sya?
Hindi.
Sa huli ikaw ang kawawa. After a break up….. act and look better.
Sa unang rinig eh parang ang hangin ng dating… but the fact is…
kailangan mo talaga gawin to.
Why? Imagine you just had a break up with your gf or bf.. tapos magpapaka
awa effect ka to her…
papasuin mo ang sarili mo ng yosi or maglalasing every night or magpupuyat
hanggang sa magkaron ka na ng eye bags… tapos bigla ka nakita ng X mo…
ano na lang ang sasabihn ng X mo?
Kung balikan ka nun eh wag ka na rin matuwa kasi for sure malaki ang
probablity nun eh naawa lang sya sa yo. Stand tall and proud. HELLO?!?!??!
Sino ba cya? As if mamamatay ka pag nawala siya,
oo mahal mo siya…. pero kailangan naman mahalin mo rin ang saril mo,
a man who can’t love himself cannot truly love others..
look better not in a way na makakabingwit ka uli ng mga guys pero in a way
na
hindi ka talaga magmukhang talunan.
And besides, pag nagkita kayo, make him/her tell to him/her self… ” Gosh!!
Yan ba ung iniwanan ko?
How can i let her slip away from me?” O di ba? Kasi kung mukha ka na tlga
losyang o dugyot after
your break up eh baka lalo lang nya naisip na tama ang naging break up nyo.
Explore your world….. kahit mahal natin ang isang tao…
we can’t move away from the fact na kailangan natin maging exposed… di ba?
It’s like a butterfly in a bottle of mayonnaise.. di makawala… di makita
ng ibang tao ang kanyang kakayahan at kagandahan.. .. and even worse baka
mamatay pa yun, di ba?
Sa mga probs na ganyan… alcohol and cigarettes don’t work.
Harapin mo na agad ang reality na nangyayari ang mga ganung bagay na hindi
natin gusto.
Pagsubok lang yan… hindi pa yan kamatayan.
Funny coz lagi na lang sinasabi satin na The lord God won’t give us problems
na hindi natin masosolve…
pero still parang nagbibingi-bingian pa rin tayo….natatakot pa rin tyo…

Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Ano ba talaga ang goal mo? Ang magmahal o magkaron ng gf/bf?
If you chose the latter, hindi ka talaga magiging happy….
Stop looking for love.. start being lovable. Open your heart to pain.. coz
with pain comes happiness… .
happiness na hindi kaagad hahanap.. coz it slowly integrates from those
little things that you do for love.
Wear a smiling face always…. but dont smile alone… baliw ang tawag dun.
What i mean is people tend to get close to those whom they know na masaya
and maganda ang mindset.
Stop talking and thinking about failures and pain…. coz what you think
would most likely attract you.
But as always, its easier said than done…. tulad ko…
ang dali kong sabihin to kasi im not in a not-so-nice situation..
pero natutunan ko tong mga to from my experience na rin eh…
hindi naman talaga madali… pero hindi rin talaga mahirap.
Its all in the mind and the heart. Kahit ano pang gawin sayo ng pag
ibig…..
always open your heart…. dapat laging alive….because you cannot love
with a dead heart.
Dont ever tell yourself na ikaw ang pinakakawawang nilalang sa pag-ibig….
pano na lang ang mga taong namatayan… . mas masakit yun di ba?
Nagkataon lang talaga na iba iba tayo ng problema….
“Letting go of someone dear to you is hard,
but holding on to someone who doesn’t even feel the same is much harder.
Giving up doesn’t mean that you are weak!
It only means that you are strong enough to let go!”
“…Everything don’t just
happened…
it is PLANNED by God,
MOLDED by His hands
and TIMED by His clock…”

I saw this old blog post of mine that really holds a great message about love. I hope you guys would realize a lot of things.

As our training days had just started, I just had this feeling of regret on why I took up Nursing. I know that a lot of people here in the Philippines have been forced to take up the said course. But in my case, I had no option but just to take up college with whatever course there is available. I share to you guys about my life. Right after graduation from high school, I never wanted to go to college, I wanted to work. Which my mom arguably denied me of my request. So I got forced into taking up any random four year course in whatever college there is that was still accepting enrollees. I got myself into a nursing school that has some really big name throughout the country and maybe even in other countries.

During the entrance exam, I just filled up the forms and answered there was to answer. Pretty much easily answered the exam as I always do. When the part that we were supposed to write what program we were gonna take, I just hard some very hard time answering. I didn’t know what to choose. I took a peak at the paper of  a nearby examinee and found the word “BSN” or was it “nursing”. Got myself passed the exams and enrolled in the program.

Now that I’m a registered nurse of the Philippines, I somehow find myself confused with what to do with my life. I don’t want to practice nursing. It doesn’t mean that I don’t want to save lives, help people or care for the sick. I do, I really want to help but not this way. If you want to ask how I want to help, I can’t answer that right now. Lost at this stage of life but I know everything will be okay. God is there for me and I know He has a purpose for me.

Even its just the start of the training program, I am typically having a hard time getting back to my “nursing” life. I don’t feel it anymore. As much as I want to help those in the wards, I really don’t know how to assist them anymore.

I wish we could just jump directly to the operating room program rather than going through the wards. Not really how I expected it. I feel like I’m gonna get sick when I go on duty. I can’t even eat well now after being at the wards for a day. I need to gain pounds not lose them.. I hope I can manage to keep myself up for the next months.

I’m hoping that I can find my way back to how I was years ago. Really moving my way through the patients and assisting them. I know a lot of people want to be in my place right now especially those who never made it in the exams. If you were in my situation, I know you would understand.

Dear Lord, please help me..

After appreciating much of the video, I really wanted to continue with my dream of being a videographer. But the costs of having a camcorder is quite expensive. Just a month ago, my father had talked to me about the DSLR that I’ve been talking about. We talked about how long it’ll take before we could buy it. The camera was Nikon’s D90 that was released two years ago (2008). It was the first DSLR from Nikon that had the video function. So far it was great but Nikon was able to improve it with the D300s. The D300s offers much more capabilities than the D90 which by far I’d love to have than the D90. More stable video capture and has better capabilities with photos. Faster and smarter, its a great all around camera but still I keep in mind that it is still a DSLR not a camcorder.

I took an online job to help dad save up for the D300s which I haven’t told him yet about the change of plans but I’ll inform him again when he takes a visit here in Davao. I should be able to save up to about 30k pesos by the end of the year.

So we’ll see if I can get that D300s. I read the Nikon will be releasing some new DSLRs on August. I might consider taking a look at those once they get released.

This was the scene that got me annoyed this evening. The tons of quizzes that the users in Facebook generates gets spammed to every user there is on their network. When a friend of yours takes one of this quizzes and shares it, it not just shows up on the news and on their wall but also on yours. To what relevance would these quizzes be to me or to us anyway? Right? Quite pretty useless. If there was some way Facebook could not post these things on everybody’s wall but just on certain friends that would be fine. So far, there are quizzes that allows us to block the application. But there are some that just couldn’t be blocked.

I had even worse experience on this probably around last year when three full pages were full of quiz results that I didn’t even take! Have you guys had this experience or even worse? Share it to us.

In the world of competition, we can classify gamers into two ways. One is being Good Gamer and the other is Bad Gamer. Good gamers tend to play within the rules set by the game itself, the game publisher or stay within the norms set by the gaming community. What’s great about being one of these guys is that people won’t really be hating you by being good or staying within the rules. Yes you can still be trash talked by other gamers but that is okay. As long as you played well under the set conditions, you won’t really be tagged deviant.

On the other note, Bad gamers are those people who tend to cheat their way into games. One way is thru hacking into the system. Making their characters more stronger than everyone else. Or giving them this god mode and kill everyone else without even dying. Doing this just proves that they are those weak gamers who really are having a hard time pawning someone on a game.

Are computer games really that hard to manage or survive? I think not. If you just give time to train yourself into the game or do some more research, you can actually manage to survive and be successful in the game. I just hope that all gamers would just stop using cheats or hacks and stop being lame, and actually start playing fair so that everyone would have fun and not ruin the game.

Here, I leave to you guys a screenshot of Gunz The Duel. A PVP third person shooter online game that was once a very fun game until someone starts to use hacks until everyone else did it. These hacks killed this game years ago. Happy to know that a game publisher called IJJI revived the game and I hope that they’d do a better job in stopping these hacks and cheats into the game.

(Screenshot from GameSpot)

Join me in playing Gunz The Duel.

After that news, a man named Gerardo Gambala gave his message to all of us. A testimony of his belief and how it all started. Gerardo Gambala was once one of the Philippines’ great captains who wanted change. When he joined the military, he strove hard to excel in the field. On July 13, 2003, he was stripped of this glory as he led the Oakwood Mutiny together with LtSG. Antonio Trillanes IV of the Philippine Navy.

After 18 hours when the mutiny took place, they had finally surrendered. They failed to rally support from the public and from the army. A year after Oakwood Mutiny, the Gambala and Trillanes apologized to the President. Their apology were accepted but was not pardoned of their life in prison.

During his time in prison, he had all the time to think about his life. Reminiscing the past and all that he had done. He was visited by his friend who was one of the prime witnesses in his trial and also some members of CCF. From there, his new life had started. They preached to him about God and showed him CDs of Sunday Church services. At that point, he believed in God. In prison, they had all the time to do their Bible study.

After 5 years in prison, Gambala together with the other eleven of the accused were sentenced to dishonorable discharge by the military court. On May 12, 2008, President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo approved the conditional pardon for 9 convicted soldiers. One of them was Gerardo Gambala.

At that point, he started a clean life together with his family. He now spreads the word of God in the military ministry. The change that strove him to excel was now made clear to him, that the change must start within. God changed this man and is now happy with life.

Captain Gerardo Gambala, was once a soldier of the Philippine Army and is now a soldier of God.

Watch this video interview on Captain Gerry Gambala.

(PART 1)

(PART 2)

God bless us always

It keep giving me the “INSERT SIM” error and sometimes the phone just restarts itself. No other programs running though. The phone’s camera has long died on me with  that “Another application is running” message. And I also experience some “Message Barred” error on my W580i. Thinking if I have to get this fixed, the cost would probably be about a forth of the money paid to get the phone. Its crazy how expensive the parts are. Maybe its better to have a change of phones now but I still need to get some money for that. I hope I could get some sponsors for a new phone at least.
I might finally say goodbye to this W580i, it has certainly served me well with its great music quality.

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But there were only 10 items left and I managed to get thru them. The other tests were much harder to answer as almost all of them were not that familiar. But at least, me and the other 37,000+ who made it, are finally going to have our licenses in a few months.

Here is a list to those whom I’d like to give thanks to for the support they gave to me for the board exam. (Apparently, almost all of you would be also doing the same).

1.) God – Thanks to Him, I passed the board exam with all the resources He provided me.

2.) Family – Yep, they are always there. Mom, bad, brothers and sister.

3.) Maam Quibod & Glocal Review Center Reviewers – I really would like to thank Maam Quibod for all the resources she has provided to us. Also those reviewers, Sir Dom Paguio, Maam Jen Paguio, Maam Morong, Maam Gonzales, Doctor Sarno, Sir Cruz, Sir Gicar and Sir Ruel Bersabe.

4.) Friends – Thank you for being part of this wild ride. The anxiety we’ve all experienced and those grinding moments to have our papers signed. A great success to us all.

5.) San Pedro College – For that wonderful clinical experience that they have provided. :3 Great platform.

Happy to finally see my name in that long list of passers.

Congratulations to all of us new nurses. We are now part of the huge population of unemployed nurses. LOOOOOL But really, its a new step for all of us. God bless us all. :3